TODAY IS THE FIRST DAY OF THE REST OF YOUR LIFE (2024)

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Today is the first day of the rest of your life. Do you remember this slogan from a commercial in the 1970’s? As with many slogans, it seemed hackneyed and shallow. Today, I’ve resurrected it and I consider it profound.

Do you remember the first day of school? Every year from age 5 to age 18 for most, there were first days of school. The first day of school, for me, was a mixed bag of emotions; I was excited about seeing friends that I had missed over the summer, I was anxious about meeting teachers and students I had never met and would be spending a lot of time with over the next semester;I had a mixture of emotions about how I was dressed, would I be accepted? Would I be liked? Would I be ashamed or embarrassed? Am I going to like my roommate? Would I know where to go? Would I be late? How do I look? (my focus was often on appearance :-0). Overall, it was excitement and anxiety propelled by hope. I was doing something that wasn’t optional; I would tamp down my fears because I had to. I would move forward with hope for the unknown good things that might happen. The first day of school was a new beginning. It was a fresh start. The slate was clean and I was going to write something new on it.

What is it about first days? First days are rarely dominated by one emotion. There is always a component like “the train has left the station”, it’s not optional. There is usually some resistance, Why am I doing this? What was I thinking? Why did I wear this? Why didn’t I prepare better? What if I fail?…..and more. In short, something imperfect I cannot change. There is also a promise of something different, something better than yesterday. Who knows who I will meet today? Who knows what’s in store? Something great could happen! The first day of anything is kind of a “do over”.

As I got older I saw things through a lens of “it’s too late” or “I can’t do that” or “ I’m too old”. I used to see things that way.

I find that when things are forced upon me, like loss of a job or injury or illness or a pandemic, I have to start over. The first day(s), after one of those examples, I go through something more akin to the stages of grief. Denial and anger are often my first response. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross developed the five stages of grief in her 1969 groundbreaking book, “On Death and Dying”. The five stages are denial, anger, depression, bargaining and acceptance. The stages do not necessarily come in order or one at a time. Acceptance is, however, the final stage. Althoughthe subject of her work was actual death, there are many deaths in our lives. I believe we see aging and getting old as “death” of our youth. I also believe we go through stages of grief related to the loss of our youth.

Aging is a promise. Yet we resist it. When it feels thrust upon us in even in its simplest form… gray hair, a new wrinkle, children leaving home, memory challenges, stiff muscles, aches and pains, we grieve. Although aging is inevitable, it does not have to be a downhill slide to death.

This week is full of first days. It’s the traditional post-Labor Day first days of school. It’s the first days of ‘not summer’ anymore. For me, it’s the first day of this baby I’m birthing, the platform, Graceing Agefully™. I am filled with much of the same mix of excitement, hope and fear that other first days have. Today I’m putting myself out there. This project was not thrust upon me, it has forced its way out from inside me. I’m showing up today, on time, appropriately equipped, operating by my own set of rules. No one is showing me the way, how to do it, a “syllabus”, or the rules of engagement. I’m writing on a clean slate. That’s pretty exciting!! It’s also a little scary.

You have the “first day freedom” to just show up and see what is in store for you in Graceing Agefully™. First of all, “I don’t know”. What I DO know is that I am accepting aging. I’ve gotten the stages of grief out of my system. I’m taking a first day approach to life in the second half.

I will share my experiences, be vulnerable, try things, fail openly and learn on this stage. I hope you will discover and unleash possibilities of your own. I hope you will share them here. We can learn from each other. We can teach each other; we can discover what’s inside ourselves. We can write new beginnings, chapters, and volumes on the clean slate of life in the second half.

I have a dream….one day young people will see aging as something to look forward to. They will honor the elders of the community and aspire to build meaning into their lives. They will see growing old as growing. They will see opportunity and possibilities ahead at every age. They will be surrounded by examples of centenarians who are continuing to push the limits and making contributions to society.

Please join me on this exciting journey; invite your friends. Today is the first day of Graceing Agefully™ and today is the first day of the rest of your life!

With lots of love and no shame,

Jennifer